Detox your Life

We all have friends that were there for us, and we were there for them.

They were there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, and you were there for them when they had nowhere else to go, and even though you might have had a beautiful relationship for a while, you reach a point when you realize it was never worth it.

A recent incident in my life once again confirms that you should not take things at face value. People are usually not what they seem to be, there always is a hidden motive if someone is trying to build a rapport with you all of a sudden or going out of their way to be there even though you did not ask for their help. My mistake was that I never questioned their motive; I took them at face value and made myself believe what a wonderful friend I had. She was not a friend she was a spineless manipulator who was using me to get favors, using me as a stepping stone, and when she couldn’t step on me her inner devil showed its face.

The best way to test genuine behavior is to not give people what they want, and do it in a succession more than 3 times, gauge their reaction, the truly balanced kind would not think much of it, but the ones who are out to use you will immediately show a reaction.

• The most obvious reaction would be: They would stop talking to you, or asking you out. This is a sign of a person who has zero patience and zero value for you in their life.

• The second reaction would a backlash that shows their frustration, for eg. They might ask you what is the reason why you do not give them what they want, be it speaking to them, or meeting them, or doing something for them which they expect of you. These are the more dangerous kinds as they know they have a great deal to extract from you but you are blocking them and they are relentlessly trying to break that block. Even to the extent of hurting you.

• The third reaction is what I like to call a reptile reaction, if you block one way of communication, they will slither around and try every other way to be seen around you or to know what’s happening in your space and to force them-selves back in your space, or plainly be a nuisance.

• The fourth reaction is the most extreme kind and it is also a very immature reaction. This is where the person decides to get vindictive. This is where you will hear bitching, backbiting, altered or half-truths, misquoted dialogues, and every kind of attack on your reputation.

Comfort zone

Guys take a look at what happens when you allow the wrong kind of people in your personal space. Is it worth it?

The truth is we get comfortable with the people in our space; we get cozy with the idea of having a friend around us whenever we need it. And we feel secure with the social life we have created.

We get so comfortable with all of this that we fail to see the poison it’s spreading in our life; we fail to see how miserable we are in their company.

Do you have an energy vampire in your space?

Did you ever walk out after the meeting someone, but immediate after something happened which put you in a low frequency? Did this happen more than twice?

Have these people ever encourage you to take radical/damaging steps eg. You should quit your job, or you should leave your husband/boyfriend.

Have they been a bit to inquisitive about your life, asking you for details and far too many updates on personal matters?

Have they been very careful in trying to hide certain details of their own life, or not been completely truthful to you about what’s in their mind?

Have they ever spilled out secrets of their own near and dear ones?

If any one of the above has happened to you more than once, chances are you do have an energy vampire masked as a friend.

Detox your life

It’s a hard decision to clean up your space and ask people to leave because you can see their truth and the damage they are doing to you.

If we are strong and have our priorities right, we won’t have a problem in calling a spud a spud.

Be secure with yourself, it doesn’t matter if that person was there for you in your time of need, but truth be told you are serving a far more greater purpose in their life than they are to you.

You deserve the best, so ask yourself is this person for my best?  If not, you know what to do. Stand up for yourself and throw the garbage out of your life, because you deserve better than that.

Thank you for reading.